So im changing the way this blog is going and making it focus on things i observe in others and in general. its also where i can post more of my writing and such. So here's to new beginnings.
So this summer has been an absolute a lot of ups and downs adn twist but fun the whole way until the very end. Between losing weight and enjoying food and gaining and losing friends its been the most amazing summer of my life. I think that most of all ive grown into something more than i was before. something similar but also older. i guess what im saying is that i used to be kind of naive about the true nature of some hearts. I am a huge believer in the powers of light over darkness and the constant struggle between them. Also the effects they have on the hearts of the people of the world. I dont mean the physical heart or mind but that heart where we feel love and safety and the mind where we have our inner eye, imagination, and the all important inner voice that we all consult when we are in different situations. Over the years ive been able to find the light in people and naturally i get attacted to it and i befriend those with light. And the people that whether they actually have darkness in them or feel like they deserve to belong to darkness are who i help.
I guess since i havent said in this blog. but i am the secret keeper and psychiatrist of the group. I hear all problems and concerns. The thing is is i love to hear all of those things. its so refreshing to see so much trust taht a friend will give to someone else. The thing is is that for a while i was getting over loaded and i couldnt handle things for awhile. Every story was getting mixed up and i would constantly worry about all my friends. im sure for awhile they were all annoyed by me constantly questioning them.
Sorry that was a tangent from where i was.... So anywho. What i do is read peoples emotions which leads to understanding where their minds are going and what they are thinking. No i cant read minds but i make guesses as to what people are thinking based on the emotions they are putting out. So for example: Funerals are the death of me. I guess wakes are up there too with funerals. I just needed to clarify. So the reason they are so bad ill start with wakes. If you think in a dead body at a wake. there is nothing light nor dark just nothing. So its like a vacuum of nothingness that sucks to be around. So it jus makes you depressd. And the thing with funerals is that there is no good emotions everything is sad and crying. So i could not even know the person and be sobbing. Its happened many times and it actually almost as much if i knew the person all my life. Its also painful to see my friends cry.
Example to that last sentence. on my last musical at my school we do this thing called the senior send off. where the whole cast jjoins hands around the theatre with all the seniors on stage. they then read off all the seniors names. Its very emotional cause the way my school worked was whatever you did you made friends and they became your family so this was mid febuary and i was already saying goodbye to some friends because we wouldnt have the experience of this musical together ever again. So we were all hugging cause we had all grown to be an awesome family even the girls from the girl schoool since my school is all guys. So i turned to one of my best friends who worked crew while i was a dancer adn an actor i also worked crew adn he hadnt been cry adn he looked at me and started to. He came up to me and hugged me and whispered that he wasnt going to do crew for the next show. The sad part about that was that i had told him the night before when i slept at his house was that i was looking forward to working crew with him. So then we both started to sob. literally nobody could get us to move. we delayed the show starting by 20 min cause we didnt move from the stage. THe thing is is we both kept crying off stage. He could stay back stage i couldnt. i was a principle in the show so i had to be on stage with a body mic and be able to sing my harmonies. It was the hardest thing ever. I wuold get off stage adn he would be there waiting and we would just break down.
So ya Emotions rock for me. i love them even when i hate them.
Love,
More than my own life
Wha-Wha
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